3 Things to do Instead of Chasing Love and Relationships (they will chase you)


Imagine that you're chasing a butterfly and as you try to chase it, it keeps fluttering around.  Today, I'm going to be sharing with you the three things to do instead of chasing love or relationships. This changes the energy dynamic and helps it so that then the cards work in your favor. The first part of this process of when we're chasing Winward chasing, we are implying that the other person is running.

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What if the only reason they're chasing us or we're chasing them is that we believe that they're running. We believe that they're in a way trying to get away. What if we switched the frame in our mind and instead of sinus as chasing them instead of seeing it as like you, you want something from someone else. What if you were to switch up the frame? That's why the first thing that I recommend you do, you actually do to stop chasing and have them chase you, is to completely let go of the outcome, let go of the outcome. Because when you are attached to the outcome, they can feel that. They can energetically feel that.

I hope it goes that way. They can feel that, and when they feel that they then feel, feel the resistance, and they don't know what that resistance is from you or from them. They just feel it. People feel what you feel and when you're attached to the outcome and trying to control it. What ends up happening is there's resistance involved, so then it becomes something that is contagious and actually holds them back from finding you attractive. In my own life, I felt this that any time I have been even just beyond just chasing love or relationships. If it was me trying to intend to attract something in my life, the more I try to control it, the more resistance I make, and it's almost like the more rules I have about it, the more that gets reflected back to me.

In reality, if I'm like, Oh, I really hope this person shows up on time and I'm like thinking about it, thinking about it, it normally will end up where maybe that person is late. This is just a small example, but in the same way, if I just let go of it, many times I'll let go of it, and then I'll get the text. It's like, Oh, I'm almost there. Or I'll let go of it. Then energetically it's like, then reality can reflect that back of what we want. But the key to this process to understand, letting go of the outcome. The caveat to letting go of the outcome is focused on fun. I know it sounds like something you might not want to do if you're really, really heady about somebody. But I'll tell you what, when you start having fun, it changes your state. They feel what you feel. In this weird way, think about it like this.

You have an energetic field around your body, and when people think of you, they feel what's in your energetic field. When you think of them, you're sending them energy even subconsciously. If you're always feeling needy of the outcome, they're going to feel that off of you. When you start to let go and have fun, that's when they're starting to feel it. When it ended up happening is I eventually was just starting to get more friends in high school because I came out of the whole step by stepmom situation where my brother and I had no freedom. Then I started becoming friends with other groups. Then there was this one group of friends I started, have a lot of fun with, and then I started almost forget about her. I was like, okay; I don't, I don't need this.

I saw she wasn't getting treated me the way that I believe that deserves. What happened is all of a sudden, she's calling me, and for two weeks straight she's like telling me she wants me back, and all of this stuff and I've already moved on to a new friend group, and there was a girl within that friend group, and I was also talking to. It was like I phased it out, but when I let go of the outcome, she felt that, and then I was also having fun, and I was no longer needy or trying to desperately control the outcome. This is an important part of the process that really changes a lot. It's not the thing you want to hear, but if you let go of it and you focus on having fun, focused on being with your friends, focus on yourself, you'll find that then what happens is your increased state of being happens, and then they could feel that on you and it ends up working in your favor.

The second thing to do instead of chasing loving relationships as looking at your self-image, this is some of the most powerful work you can do. Let me use this example really quick. Imagine that you see yourself on a scale of one to 10 is going to sound superficial. But imagine you see yourself on a scale of one to 10 as like a five and imagine that this person you want, you're chasing this person you want to be with you viewed them in your mind as like a nine or a ten nine point five let's say that. Well, because your self-image is a five and they are nine and a half, they're going to feel that you believe they are way better than you are energetically vibrationally. The key to this isn't to see you like a ten and them as a five. The key is to get rid of this whole idea of having a self-image that is less than them and realizes that everyone, everyone is connected, and everyone is on the same playing field.

What is your self-image? If you view yourself as a five out of 10, then other people will feel that you view yourself as not so worthy. The key to this as well is realizing when you are trying to chase someone, you should or can become the most attractive version of you. When you do that, you will have a certain self-image that has a certain level of power. I believe that a lot of times when you're doing what you love, this really helps as well. The key is imagining what this PR, okay this is, this is going to be an analogy, but this isn't what it looks like. I'm trying to say what if you become the kind of person that that person would be attracted to. Okay. Developing the qualities, the kind of personality that the other person would be attracted to the person you're chasing because that's what they're attracted to because most people are just trying to, are trying to, and a lot of times people are trying to be the way they, they think this person wants them to be.

That's actually not the key because then that shows that you're always within their frame of reality. The key to this is becoming the star of your own movie and developing your own gravity and stop trying to be the cameo in anyone else's movie. There's this scene that if you treat someone like a celebrity, they'll treat you like a fan. Think of the energy exchange there. Oh, I hope that you really liked me. I'm doing everything you really want me to do, and then they'll treat you like you're their years, their servant or something like that, but if you have your own gravity, that's what's attractive. I'll tell you now when I said it's not what it seems when I say that, what I'm really telling you to do is that you will become the most attractive version of you when you are just yourself, not trying to conform to this person as you're chasing idea, not trying to conform to anyone else's idea.

Be yourself, and I know it sounds cliché, but when you develop your own gravity, whatever that is, if you eat a certain type of food that you love, if you like a certain type of music and your word, people will judge. You just own it. People respect people that are just being themselves unapologetically. That's the most attractive thing. If you want this person, you're trying to chase to be attracted to develop your own gravity and be you because you choose to be you now because it'll get them on your team or start to like you. But the key to this is linking up your self-image and understanding that the more you do that, the more things really begin to change for you. The final part is a very important part of this process is when a lot of people don't think of what is, what is your story about relationships?

This is the thing that you really want to focus on. What is your story about relationships? Everyone has a story. Maybe your story is that I always end up chasing people. All the good ones are taken. What is your story? Because the story is going to dictate how you feel and if your story is that you're trying to conform to someone else and even you might even have a story that you're chasing someone else. Do you want to be in someone else's life that you want to be the cameo in their movie? But what if you were to change the story? What if you were to change the character that you're portraying is right now you might, you might be portraying a character that's chasing someone else for love and relationships that characters not really you. That's something that you thought you had to be in order to be loved.

One of the most common, the most common limiting belief in the world, is that people believe they're not enough. People believe they're not worthy. The story we tell ourselves about relationships and how we relate to other people will have a very strong indication of how people respond to us. The first step to this process, number three, is to become aware of your story. When you become aware of your story, that's when you can actually change it. Can you change the character in your story, the character you are being? Because if you're chasing someone else, then most likely your not embodying the 100% real you. And that begins with you choosing to be. You develop your own gravity and owning it just own who you are. Realize you are a catch. You're somebody that somebody out there is going to love to be with. If you embodied that energy, you would be so attractive that it would just have people wanting to be around you. It would have people wanting to talk to you.

It has to do with your story, right? Relationships. There's this one girl, I've told this story and the other one as well, so it might be repetitive, but there's this girl I used to work with at Nordstrom's, and she told me that anytime she got into relationship, when she was in a relationship or starting to date someone, she would then get hit on by like eight dudes in a week. She never got hit on other than that; it's because she was then feeling that self-love. It's almost like she had someone in her life, and she felt loved. She felt appreciated. She felt attractive because the rules in her mind said that once she had someone in her life, she could then feel that way and then other people could feel of her energy and then they would be attracted to her and they would hit on her eight times in a week when normally it would happen eight times in a year.

Why is that? Because the energy changed. She may also have a story that once that happens, then she can feel that self-love. What is your story about when you could feel worthy? What is your story about when you can love yourself? I'll tell you right now that when you stop chasing love relationships when you stopped chasing it like that butterfly analogy, you might find that.


My name is Aaron Doughty and I help people expand their consciousness. My areas of interest for this blog include motivation, meditation, neuroscience and enlightenment. The purpose of aarondoughty.com is to inspire change to those who want to experience more in life. I will openly and passionately share the tools, resources and processes that have made a difference in the quality of my life to help you do the same in yours. I’ve always believed that finding ways to add value to other peoples lives is the fastest route to both happiness and fulfillment and this is my genuine intention.