Attracting Love/Relationships will FAIL unless you do this one thing
People are responding to your energy the way you are projecting yourself out into the world, and when you do this one thing, it changes everything about your vibration and about the way people perceive you.
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In today’s blog is all about understanding the one thing that changes everything when it comes to attracting love and relationships. The thing is, unless people do this thing, that process alone will fail. It has to do with awareness and then has to do with knowing who you are at your core and the way you are showing up in the world. Imagine that we're in it. Imagine that you're in a play and in this play you have been playing a certain character. And that this character you are playing may have been consciously chasing or wanting someone to come into that character's life believing that maybe if this person did come into their life, that they would then love themselves more and feel more worthy, whole and complete.
That this character would do anything it took and would, would think about things and really put energy into this and to this attainment of this person that they may be intending to attract into their life. But imagine that the more this person tries, the more resistance to create, and the more they end up finding themselves playing a different role. I imagine that this person that is a character in this play ends up trying to be the cameo in someone else's movie. They've used someone else as the star of the movie, and they are then trying to attract that person to their life. Well, the thing is when we have that energy dynamic going on, and we intend to attract love into our life, but we are doing it in a way where we think, and we are having treating someone else on a pedestal, the energy that we are putting out is one where then they will respond to us in the way we are treating them.
When it comes to love and relationships and attracting it, the reason it feels so often is that people play a cameo role in the movie of their own life. You are the star of your own movie. The thing that you must do in order to attract a loving relationship is to rewire yourself. That's exactly what I'm going to show you in this blog. I think this blog will change your life, and you'll start to see yourself in a new way. When you see yourself in a new way, you'll then also project something new into the world as well. When it comes to this, the important part to understand is how you're showing up in the world. First off being the star of your own movie. This character that you've been playing most likely is a character that decided at a certain point in your life.
Then that meaning may have told you to play small. Then its meaning may tell you; it was afraid for you to express yourself. In that moment, you agreed to that meaning. From that point going forward, that became a driving force in your life. What I'm about to share with you, it has to do with understanding your rules as to what it takes for you to feel worthy, holding complete. I'll show you, cause most people, this is subconscious. This is something they're not actually aware of. There are these conflicting ideologies inside of people, and because of that, they can't actually feel where the whole incomplete. But remember, people, feel what you feel so you become more attractive when you love yourself more.
The thing is some people; they set up such impossible parameters for them to love themselves because they set parameters that are first off outside of themselves. Imagine setting the parameter that I know that I feel love when somebody is constantly giving me things. I feel love when there is a, there's constant recognition and attention from someone else. I will feel love when this person does exactly what I want them to do, but I control them. You see, we have, many of us will have different versions of this, but we'll have ideas of love and rules about love that say when we've achieved love in our own life and the way that we normally learn about love, by the way, is from our parents. It's what we were modeled growing up. Yesterday I was kind of mastermind type thing with my buddy Victor Oddo and about 1520 other people, and I was talking to Victor, and he became aware of something in his life, and I was talking to him, and it would just become so crystal clear of me sharing what you, what I'm sharing in this blog right now.
Victor has been worried for the last year. Oh, he's okay with me sharing this story. Victor has been okay, or Victor will be okay with me sharing this blog. Victor, about a year ago, had a dream experience where one of his children, his kids, had a traumatic accident and passed away. It was a dream, not real, but the dream began to live in his own mind, and it became this reoccurring thing that would just keep coming up. I remember we; he would do some plant medicine ceremony and Costa Rica, it would just keep coming out for him, keep coming out for him. He'd be in meditation, wake up and you'd have just, his memories is absolute fear that he was going to lose his daughter. The first thing that he ever brought into this world. It was this overlaying fear that he just couldn't figure out why am I having this thing come up over and over again?
Is it, is it some premonition dream, or what is this? And for a year straight, I was listening to him. I was trying to help him through it. Then it became absolutely crystal clear when I was talking to him yesterday because I was asking about his parents because Victor if you don't know, was that a firecracker accident when he was a kid? It was a very traumatic firecracker acts. One word exploded on top of him, and it burned him on the sides, and it was very painful for them. Its parents felt incredibly guilty about it. They thought, Oh, I could've done something different. It was very traumatic experience. From that point forward, Victor had this mentality of something horrible can happen. What is going to happen that's wrong?
From that point going forward, that situation, he decided, and he learned from his parents who, in a very needy way, was constantly trying to control him and his environment and him being safe. And they were constantly worried about him. His mom used to tell them, I worry about you cause I love you. Victor then started to associate love with worry. Love is a worry, and this isn't just like his kid's life and his relationship, his wife, this is also in his relationship with money, his relationship with his business, his relationship with many different things. He's worried that something is going to go wrong. On the one hand, this is a conflicting ideology. That was crystal clear to me when I was talking to him. Victor wants to be a great dad. Victor is a great dad. You see him with his kids, he spends a lot of time with them. He cares about them. He does a lot of things with them.
It's very obvious. But with Victor didn't realize until yesterday was that when he was saying, I love you to his kids, subconsciously he was saying, I worry about you. Because in order for him to be a great parent, in order for him to love his kids, he has to worry about his kids because of his idea of love and because of the way he was modeled that from his parents. If he wants to love his business, he must worry about his business. I don't love you. I worry you. I worry you. I worry you. I worry you do you see this is what I'm saying, and this is what became so it was like a whole new world for Victor when he figured this out, and he's like a different person now. But the reason I share this with you is that what area of your life is your definition of love? For me, I was controlled as a kid, completely controlled. My brother and I, from seven to 15 years old, had a crazy step-mom in our life.
Who controlled every aspect of her life? There were times we barely ate food. We were very, very skinny at our ages. A lot of times we're locked out of the house and had to work outside. We weren't allowed to have friends. We had earned going to school. We got school activities taken away from us. Can we go to band camp if I got in trouble and controlled, I thought love is control? Even after that, my set, 15 years old came around. My dad divorced her, never have to deal with her again. I thought of myself in relationships with people that wanted to control me because that, to me, was what I thought love was, and now in my own life, I see it in my shadow aspect because I control my business. I am a fixer.
If somebody in my family is going through something, I want to fix it. Whether it's financially, whether it's emotionally, I want to fix it, control it because I have associated love with control. The reason I'm sharing this with you is because every single person will have a story display that we're talking about this play for the way reality works that we keep on autopilot and it keeps running our life out over and over again, and each one of us will have maybe a little bit different story. It doesn't matter, though. They are rooted in the same thing. What is our definition of love and how do I know I felt it? And if you make it very hard for you to feel love, it's going to be very hard for you to feel love. And remember, if you're not feeling love, you're not going to track and put out the energy of someone else that can love you back for you. What are your rules for love?
Are your rules for love external? This person has to do this. This person has to act this way. This person has to do what I asked him to do. This person has to acknowledge me a certain number of times is they say I love you in a certain order. Those are all external things. What if you made it extraordinarily easy for you to love yourself? What if loving yourself could be as simple as doing something for yourself as recognizing something within yourself? What if you let it be okay, you didn't love yourself every day, and you've got let go of the rule of how often you have to love yourself because then we get into this perpetual cycle. The reason I share this and the reason this has so much to do with attracting love is because until you love yourself, no one else can truly love you and if somebody else does come into your life, that person may love you at a surface level because you love yourself at a surface level.
Everything in your life changes when you become aware of the fabric of reality, which is love, and what are your definitions for love, and what does love mean to you? If you want to look at what that is, look to your relationship with your parents. That's normally where it is because that's what we model and that's what we, we learn from. Sometimes we rebel. Sometimes we were balanced certain ways. They may treat us a certain way and show us loving a certain way you say, we'll say, I've never treated my kids that way. I'll do this in a different way. You know, I'll never punish my kids because my brother and I were punished. I'll never speak my kids. I don't have kids yet. But that's my definition. But the key to this is realizing love what it takes for you to feel love. And can you be the source of love and think about how funny this is. Here we are. What we'd say is when I get into a relationship with someone else, I will feel they will love me, and then I will give myself the permission to feel love.
Once this happens, I have a rule. Many people have a rule-based in watching Disney movies based on what they think society has to be based on believing the source of love is outside of themselves. They're getting to a relationship and say, Oh, now that this person loves me and views me in a certain way because it goes according to my rules that I learned growing up. I can love myself. The funny thing is you are generating that love from within you and your own energy field. You are just now giving yourself permission because your rules are now being met. Do you see it? You're the source to begin with. You were the source all along with this relationship, and attracting love thing is a symbol for you coming into the realization that you are the source of love.
You are worthy, whole and complete and the most common limiting belief that people have in the world is that I am not enough. It is because we get these external benchmarks about what it takes for us to feel love. The wiring inside is messed up, but we have to claim that yes, maybe we learned it growing up. Maybe we learned it from our parents, but we agreed to it, and our life has agreements that we've made and I mean that in very conscious ways. Something hasn't reset, and we agree that this is the meaning, and now I have to worry. Because if I worried that I love and my mom worried about me that because she loved me, she loved me, and that's why she worried, and I want to love my kids, and I want to be a great dad. Not knowing that there's this perspective thereof that exact thing is conflicting ideology.
I talked to two or three people yesterday about this same kind of format that I'm now putting into an actual step-by-step process. You can unveil your definition of love with a couple of questions and a couple of the framework. I'm going to call it the framework, and it will show you and reveal to you your rules about you, about your identity. When you become aware of these things, this is when everything gets to change, but you see this, you being the meaning generator, you are the star of your own movie. This is you right here. Even if you get into a relationship or you get love with someone else, and they treat you a certain way, you're giving it, they're meeting your role. But instead of trying to change the outside, which is where people feel pain, they're trying to change and have someone when someone on a pedestal wants someone to love them back, all these things.
But guess what? Instead of trying to change the outside, which is just a mere reflection of the inside, change the rule that says that you can only feel 100% love holding complete when this person's in a relationship with you. Because remember, that's just a symbol. Person's a symbol. Everything's a reflection in reality anyways, everything, every single thing is a reflection. So if you want someone to love you, you must first love yourself. How do you love yourself? You become aware of your rules about what it takes to love you. Become aware of what your parents may have told you about love and how they may have expressed it to you. Then from there, you make choices about your new rules of love, and you make it extraordinarily easy for you to love yourself.
Not hard, not they have to do this, this and this, and other people have to do this. No, you are the source. Make it easy. Make your rules easy for you to feel love. Anytime I take a bath, anytime I read about something I'm passionate about, anytime I filled, put my hands over my heart like this. Anytime I think of something I'm grateful for, I will love myself. Make it extraordinarily easy for you to love yourself, and it will be easier. And when you do that, your whole entire life will change because of the outer reality, it's just a reflection. Outer realities are a reflection of your inner source.
You have the ability to feel lovable and complete, and the reason many times love relationship attraction fails is because people externalize their own love, and they put these impossible parameters as to what it takes to be lovable. People are worried they're not enough. People are worried they're not loved. It's all because of the meanings of the past and trying to change the outer reality. All you do is change the rules about what it takes for you to feel love, and you start acting from that new identity. You start loving yourself more. You start taking more bass, going for walks, whatever it takes, and doing something outside of the old identity. Let me know if you want me to make a part two of this blog, maybe I'll make a part two of this.