You will feel 100% Worthy, Whole and Complete if you do this one thing
Feeling worthy is directly related to the way we modeled love from our parents. When we look at that, we're able to see more how we think of ourselves and whether we think we're enough or not.
Today, I'm going to be sharing with you the importance of understanding your view of worthiness, understanding some of the things that may have happened in the past and how that models the way that you show up in the world, the way that you give love and the way that you receive love. This is really about understanding as I said in the intro, it's so important to understand because feeling 100% worthy love holding complete has directly imply implications and an impact on that of your money, how much money you're able to attract into your life, how much money you feel worthy of that you deserve, your loving relationships, the kind of partner that you attract into your life and your health, what you think you are deserving of and what kind of standards you set yourself when it comes to your own worthiness.
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Feeling worthy, whole, and complete is all about understanding our model of the world for love and how we relate to it. For myself, I am somebody that had that have a, a, you may have heard my past before, but between seven and 15 years old, I had an abusive stepmom in my life. Fifteen years old came around, and my dad divorced her. But during that seven-year period, my brother and heightens it had zero freedom. We weren't allowed to go out with friends. We weren't allowed to really have friends at all. We were normally locked out of the house doing chores. We'd drink water out of a hose. We were given that bowl of cereal in the morning, and at nighttime, we were given a TV dinner. We were both very malnourished. We get in trouble for everything.
My ex stepmom was mentally, physically, and emotionally abusive. Between that period of my life, I experienced a lot of pain. I'm always being in trouble and thinking that there was something wrong with me. And what happened is even after 15 years old comes around, my dad divorces my ex stepmom. All of a sudden, my brother and I are allowed to watch TV. We're allowed to have friends. We're allowed to eat enough food or as much food as we want. But it was a very fun freedom field time of our life. However, years after that, I was like 20, 21 years old, and I felt unworthy. I felt like I wasn't enough. I realized that every girl, there was always a woman in my life that represented that level of control.
After my ex stepmom, the first girlfriend I had had very jealous tendencies and was very much controlling me and wanting me to be a certain way. I was too loud. I was too obnoxious. She for sure should have been fired way before when she was, however, the sense of worthiness that I had subconsciously, that's what I expected from a woman because of that situation that I had. It was unconsciously running different aspects of my life. I felt like I wasn't worthy of controlling my own vision, my own destiny. I felt like somebody always had to tell me what to do. I was always talked down to, and it directly impacted my money, my love and my health, and many ways, and it was because I had this subconscious programming that was in there that said, I'm not enough.
I'm not worthy. Here is the key to this whole entire process, and the biggest change in my life was when I looked at my past, and I realized that my past led me to my spiritual awakening. It led me to go within to questioning myself to question these beliefs that I had, and that's what our feeling of worthiness comes from. It comes from the stories we tell ourselves about who we are and the story we tell ourselves about our past, the things that happened to us. These stories are rooted in certain emotions that we felt in the past and the emotions of not feeling worthy of feeling controlled, of whatever emotion it might be that goes directly into our sense of worthiness and how we show up in the world. The interesting thing about this is it's completely on autopilot, and we're never quite aware of it. I made a video yesterday and I kind of shared the experience I had talking to Victor, many of, you know, Victor Oddo, and he realized that the way he was taught, loved growing up as he was taught love from his parents because his parents were always very worried about him, always very worried because he had a fire Cracker accident when he was like seven certain, yeah, I forget, seven or eight years old and it completely burned.
Part of his body is very traumatic, definitely trauma. His parents felt guilty for it. His parents felt like they probably could have done something. So that guilt probably went into Victor and him feeling guilty that it happened to him and that his parents feel guilty. But his mom used to tell him; I worry about you cause I love you. Then his model for the world is that love equals worry; love equals worry. Even now, he has this ideology, he's like, I want to be a great parent, but subconsciously being a great parent to him means I have to worry about my kids. He's had this reoccurring thing come up in his life where anytime he does something like plant medicine, or he does something where he goes deep into meditation, he has this fear that something may happen to one of his kids and just like, where does this fear coming from?
For a year, the last whole entire year, it's like, when is this coming from? What does this mean? Why am I worried about this? Why there's this, I don't want this to happen, and there's this reluctance to let go of control. I was like, you know, for the longest time I was like you said let go of control, let go of trying to understand it all, you know. But then we had a very powerful realization, and that realization was that his parents worried nonstop about him growing up, and they associated that with love. That's how they showed him love, worried about him all the time, and the same way he was modeling that towards his kids, not even knowing it. And that is, it was his model for love, and now he realizes he's unplugging a whole new world. The whole thing of what I'm sharing with you today is about becoming free of your rules and definitions about love, your rules, and definitions about love becoming free of it.
Because he had rules and definitions about love that I love my kids. But the medium for doing that is through worrying about them and always making sure they're okay and controlling different aspects of their life and how people perceive of his kids and all of this stuff because he didn't want them to go through pain. Very compassionate of him. But now he's becoming aware that he could become free of those rules he could become. Those rules are also many times imparted into the identity as hard. I was like, well, what? Who would you be without that worry? I don't even know. I'd have to really think about it. Would I be without believing that control was worthiness or that as a pupil, I had to be controlled to be worthy and that I wasn't worried that he would it be?
You mean, I don't have to do things to be worthy. I don't have to be a people pleaser. Because I'd always please my ex stepmom, and this is the key to the process. We have this underlying core belief. Let me show you that might be this core belief that says, I'm not enough. I am not enough. This is a core belief that most people have at some level. Imagine that this is a big skinny table. There we go. There we go—a big skinny table. I am not enough. What happened is sometime in the past, we had a certain reference experience, which is this right here, reference experience, something that happened that developed one of these lakes. And at the moment we gave it a meaning that said, I'm not enough.
There was this thing that happened. Maybe a parent said something to you that made you feel unworthy. Could've been something small, could have been you wanted your dad to pass the mashed potatoes. I do that. I say that. Always use the analogy, and you wanted to, you wanted to ask what he says. Children are meant to be seen and not heard. And you said, I don't matter. Then something else happened where you were with the first relationship that you had with the partner relationship when you were younger, the boy or girl, and you may have had them break up with you, and then you said, I'm not enough, and it's something else. I said I'm not enough. There are these couple experiences that happened where we gave certain things, meaning that said, I'm not in that, that was underlying with I'm not enough with these little meanings.
These stories remain on autopilot until we question them. The key to us feeling love is not developing a belief that says I am love, I am love, I am love. That is not the key. You could say it all you want, and you can see the affirmations, and that can be powerful. But the key is just untangling the current, the current rules you have about love. Imagine you have rules about love and imagine that some of those rules many times that are their external rules, by the way. For example, love to me. First off, love for Victor was worry not knowing it. One of those rules about love was maybe I have to always ask my kids questions to make sure they're always okay.
I've got to always worry about where they are and what they're doing. These are rules, and it's like, okay, well now, and how would he know that he was loved? Well, maybe there's some rule that he has to constantly get affirmation from his wife or something like that. I'm not saying that's true; I'm just saying what if it was now for me? What if I had rules about love? I was like, you know, I will give myself permission to feel love once when I'm making these videos and every comment I see as positive. I have, okay, every comment has to be positive. That's outside of me. Another rule about love is people have to constantly tell me they love me. Friends, the family has to constantly text me. It's another rule about love and all these rules, and all these rules make it impossible for us to feel love because we set such a high standard and in the same way those are externally validating rather than knowing love comes from within, and we are the source of love.
Think about this. We're right here. Can you see that? Yes. We're right here. We want to be in a relationship with someone else. Tell them all, what are they holding? We say, look at someone else, and what we do is we say, Oh, I have this person who is my life. I feel so much love, so what we do is eventually we might be in a relationship with this person, and what might happen is when they see us in a certain way. We then feel that love from them because they're seeing us in a certain way. We're looking at them, and they've met our rules. We have a rule that says when I'm a relationship, then I feel loved, and then we're feeling love, but the key is that the funny thing is that love was inside of us the whole time. It's just we have a rule that once we're in a relationship, then if then we can feel love. If I'm in a relationship, then I'll feel the love in the beginning. That's how it is to it. Then what happens as that relationship goes on and it's like if this person takes up the trash, if this person does this if this person says this to me if this person doesn't go out with their friends, all of these things, can you still see me?
Let me maybe move this a little bit, but you see, that's the thing we have all of these rules about what it takes for us to feel loved, and these rules limit us from actually feeling that love thinks that's better lighting right now. What rules do you have? My goal with helping you is helping you become free of your rules, not developing new rules. Yes, you can eventually develop the new rules of being loved, but you realize that you are loved because you are the source. It's your nature of who you are. Then what you do, and what I recommended I was talking to Victor about was stepping outside and catching yourself. Every time you start to feel unworthy and knowing that that was the past version of you. When you do that, you then start to distance yourself from the old identity, the old way of being the old stories, the old rules.
But what I did is I changed the story to myself, and I realized, well, actually there are more people that don't like the content and what that means is I'm actually reaching more people. I'm reaching people that normally wouldn't even be open to this content. Yes, I didn't get, I didn't get as much negative response when I was at, you know, 50,000 subs, but that's because it was a much smaller audience. The bigger the mass you go, the more you get a mix. That's a good thing. I'm reaching more people so that immediately that changed and also there's no rule that says that everyone has to love me.
I fill up my own cup. I focus on the love within myself. I do meditations. I helped me to feel that love as well. And if you haven't seen yet what I'm talking about to heal these little legs, it's by something called completing the past. One of the most popular meditations on my channel is a meditation for healing, completing the past, and feeling 100% worthy, holding complete. It's extraordinarily powerful.