3 Ways to Deal with Narcissists and Sociopaths without giving them your energy

3-Ways-to-Deal-with-Narcissists-and-Sociopaths-without-giving-them-your-energy

I'm going to share with you three ways of dealing with narcissists or sociopaths without giving them your power.

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Today, I'm going to be sharing with you the three ways you can deal with narcissists or sociopath's so that you don't give away your power and understanding the best way to move about this process. If you're somebody that knows somebody, that is what is called a narcissist or a sociopath, first off, understand what really makes it easier is understanding that it's a belief they have about who they are that perpetuates that behavior, that way of being. Knowing that doesn't make it necessarily right, but it does make it easier to understand that when people are that way, there's a certain way they're wired. It's almost like, then you can understand them a little bit more, at least.

For those of you that don't know, I had an abusive ex stepmom and my life between the ages of seven to 15 years old, and she's definitely someone that falls into the categories of narcissists and sociopaths. There were many different situations where my brother and I get punished for things that we didn't do. You know, we weren't allowed to watch TV. We weren't allowed to have friends, a way to earn, go into school activities. The majority of the time if we wanted to go to band camp or something like that, that was actually required by the school, we'd get that taken away if we got into trouble because there came the point to where nothing else could be taken away. A lot of times we were locked outside and made to do yardwork for maybe like eight to 12 hours a day while she'd be at work.

My dad was a firefighter, so he was gone 24 hours a day, and he kind of let her just like run the show. She was physically abusive, and it was almost like we would have to admit to doing things we didn't do. And there was a lot of manipulation there and a lot of tearing down a lot of making us feel like we weren't worthy and or good enough. Even after my dad divorced her when I was 15 years old, I still felt that unworthiness and it took me years to really unravel that. However, there's a couple of things that I learned while working with her and you know, it got to a point to where I had to learn how, you know, if I wanted to go to, let's say, a band camp competition, what I would have to do is I would have to pretend like I didn't really want to go in order for me to be out with, to actually go.

Because if she knew at all that I wanted to go, she would then tell me, Oh, you didn't do something right. If I would have to pretend like I didn't want to go so that I could actually then go and if she found out I did want to, what she would do is she would say, Oh, you didn't do this correctly, and you don't, you don't get to go. But if I was like, you know, I really don't want to go to that band tournament, but I guess, maybe there's a way I can get out of it. She's like, no, you're going like, that's something you're going to. It was a very interesting thing because I had to kind of learn how to work through that just to be able to go to school. You know, my brother and I also weren't given food.

We were given a TV dinner at night and a bowl of cereal in the morning. We were like 120 I was 110 120 pounds as a sophomore in high school. Then when my dad divorced, when I was 15, all of a sudden, my brother and we were able to start gaining weight again. A lot of times we'd have to break into one side of the house just to get a little bit more food so that we were able to eat because of the house we lived in, had like a separate section where my brother and I work, which is like a UN remodeled side of the house and it would be like blocked off. My brother and I would find ways sometimes of sneaking in so you'd like, you know, get some food and stuff like that.

The reason I share all that is just so you know, I dealt with this from experience, so I understand it, but there was also interesting thing that happened yesterday and I'll kind of share with you a little bit about the context of what this is. This has to do with understanding, not taking these things personal, not taking it personal, and thinking that it actually has to influence you and be something that is a part of you because it happened. I'm here at this date with destiny event, with my buddy Victor Oddo, and it's with Tony Robbins. It's a six-day event. And in it, there's a lot of, you know, it's long days, like 16 hours long a day or 14, 15 hours along, like nine in the morning to like, you know, what at night sometimes.

The first day that we were there was yesterday and when we were there, you know, it's very transformational. Tony does a lot of, you know, interactions and interventions with people. Then there's sometimes we do these things called exercises where we will share certain things with people. One of them was like sharing our dream of what we want to create, like the next, you know, six months, a year, whatever, and then also sharing the reason we haven't done it yet. The reason it hasn't happened yet. And then what the key is for us to make that happen. We had to write this down, and then we had to share it in a group of two or three. What happened was, is at first, I was dealing with this one guy who was really cool, and him and I were going back and forth and sharing each other's like challenges, why we were there, what we wanted to get out of it, and what was holding us back from a treatment, our true dreams.

And then what happened is like after the second, you know, it was a couple of segments we'd go away to share. And then one of the last segments, what happened is, since it was just two of us, they wanted us to be with three people. One of the course helpers or someone came by is like, Hey, you need three people. Okay. He grabbed someone else and put his, but someone else in our group. It was this woman. It was interesting because right when that happened, I started to feel, I don’t know, I felt a little bit more heaviness and then we're in this group and when we were sharing it all of a sudden, it was a very different energy in a way. She kind of brought a very different energy to the, to the group.

You know, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with her, but what happened was, is it kind of took me by storm. I really, really didn't know how to respond to this. I was kind of sharing about how, you know, I'm getting into doing like live events and stuff like that, you know, and how, if I'd been kind of in a way procrastinate and haven't got to it as quickly as I wanted to and I was talking about how I just need to stop telling myself a story that like I have to wait another couple month or till I'm going traveling. I know that once I start doing live events, which is something I'm for sure going to be doing the next couple of months. However, I thought I'd be doing it a year ago because I don't know, it's just my blueprint in my mind that way.

I've been kind of judging myself, beat myself up because I've been so busy with personal life stuff that I haven't actually got to it. I'm sharing with them too about my dreams and about like, this is what I'm going to do in the next like six to eight months. The reason I haven't done it yet is that I told myself the story, blah, blah, blah. Then her response just really threw me, like threw me and maybe surprised. It's very bizarre. She was like, she's like, wait, so you're going to be like speaking in front of people. And I was like, yeah, you know, I kind of already doing that for a living, you know, online, but I'm going to be moving into like, you know, real live events. And she goes, I could never see you doing that. She's like, yeah, you know, you, I couldn't even see that.

She's like, so how big are you? Like, you know, I don't want you to, and, and all this stuff. What I realized at that moment is that you know, I really had to observe it and then see, does this really have anything to do with me? Is there some insecurity that I have about myself? Like, will I be able to do that? Do you know? I had to realize I can't take this personally. You know, and honestly, it took about 20 minutes. You know, I kind of told Victor about it right after it happened, and I was like, I don't know how to respond to this. I don't know what to do. Like, like it was just, it was just the most bizarre thing that I've experienced. She may not even admit harm. She may have just been being the way that maybe her parents treated her anytime she had a dream. But when you're at a conference to like, go forward with your dreams, and somebody tells you, yeah, I don't ever see you doing that. I'm like, you don't know me.

You don't know what I do. I don't know. You know why I just, I guess I don't know the for why somebody would say something like that to someone, especially in a transformational event where you're becoming vulnerable and sharing your dreams with people. You don't really even know. It was just very bizarre. But at that moment, it kind of reminded me, not much of my ex stepmom and how she would do something like that as well. She would say things that kind of tear you down because there are two ways to move up in the world. The tallest skyscraper or the other way is you tear down everyone else's. You know, and while that's a very achiever mindset, it's about knowing that you don't have to take things personally. That's what I did.

The more I got that perspective that I have to take this personally; this is her things. This is maybe the way her parents treat her, I don't know. But also, just being compassionate and not judging, not even labeling. Sometimes with narcissists and sociopaths, we put them into sewer and category a certain box. Because of that, it didn't cause that kind of almost for them to stay within that realm. It was very bizarre. She may not even have met actual harm. It was the, it was even more bizarre because after that situation I kind of felt, you know, I kind of felt dirty about it and I kind of distanced myself from her. And then like 20 minutes later she gives a, she gives Victor her phone to give to me to put it in my phone number, and I'm like, well, no.

I think a lot of times, when I looked at even like my ex stepmom, she would do things, and then it would do things that were painful. And then when you think about it over and over again, it sends them mental energy. They may not know this. This is an esoteric idea, but nonetheless, I feel like they subconsciously know that. Now, the second thing I want it, the second way to deal with it to narcissists and sociopaths is to you remove yourself from their energetic field simply.

I know this seems like an obvious thing, but many people, you know, I met a lot of people actually that watch my videos on YouTube where I've talked about narcissists and sociopaths. I have some videos there that have been very popular, not me even knowing that there was that much of a desire for people to, you know, understand more about the energy dynamics between how to deal with them and you know, whether they get their karma or not, which is a video I had that did really well.

You may say, Oh, that's a family member, that's this, that's that. Well, you know, you're not entitled and obligated if it drains your energy, and if it's making you not achieve your dreams, you're not obligated always to have to be around people and be feeding their energy field. One thing you could do is just remove yourself from that. My sister has to deal with my ex stepmom at this moment cause she's 17 years old, and her mom is, you know, still narcissists and sociopaths and doing the craziest things. I mean this might be kind of off course, but she'd do things like, you know, if my sister got in trouble, she took her phone one time, took her phone away from her and texted her own friends, embarrassing her saying like, you know, sending weird pictures and saying dumb things to like make her look dumb.

You know, I don't know what kind of mom would do that to her own daughter, but that just kind of gives you the kind of frame, you know, and doing that in my little sister that's 17 years old wants away, but it's kind of hard because of the way the court systems are worked out. You know, the mom tends to have a lot of power with that even though she really wants to be with my dad and doesn't want anything to do with her mom. But nonetheless, it's, you know, when she's 18 years old, she will most likely remove herself from having to talk to her mom. That's just a part of it. Now you can have compassion with this, and this doesn't mean that like you can't have a relationship at all, but you have to be mindful of your own energy. I'm lucky I don't ever have to deal with my ex stepmom again.

That lady that I dealt with, I don't ever have to deal with her again if I don't want to, and I'm not. And I plan on not doing it just because I have more boundaries. For my energy field, but at the same time, I'm not labeling her and seeing her as broken. I'm just, that's, you know, I just, it's okay to have boundaries. It's okay to say no. It's okay to remove yourself from the situation, whether it's family or not family. You got to be aware of your own energy and how you feel. The third way that you can deal with narcissists and sociopaths is actually paradoxical to the last one, but that is to allow them to be and to accept them. I know that sounds crazy, but to accept them, like I accepted my ex stepmom even though I don't, I don't even have to see her again, but I don't judge her and have this like resistance about her.

I'm not pushing against, you know, what I experienced in the past and even if I had to deal with someone, even if I had to deal with that lady again yesterday, I would almost just accept her and let her be and not let it penetrate my energy field as much. Not be so resistant towards it, but also just kind of be like water. And let it flow through in a way, you know, there's a very powerful process I found. We actually did it last night at a date with destiny. It was very interesting to see because in my future events, I planned on doing a similar process. It's called Hoʻoponopono. I have a video below where you can just listen to it, listen to it for 15, 10 or 15 minutes a day.

Watch how it changes your energy field, watch how it changes even the people, those narcissists and sociopaths you may find that they begin to change as you do that process of Hoʻoponopono. In that video, I explain how to apply that process. And then there's a 15-minute section. You can listen to it while you're driving. Listen to it while you're doing things around the house and watch how it changes your energy field and then the people in your lives as well.

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My name is Aaron Doughty and I help people expand their consciousness. My areas of interest for this blog include motivation, meditation, neuroscience and enlightenment. The purpose of aarondoughty.com is to inspire change to those who want to experience more in life. I will openly and passionately share the tools, resources and processes that have made a difference in the quality of my life to help you do the same in yours. I’ve always believed that finding ways to add value to other peoples lives is the fastest route to both happiness and fulfillment and this is my genuine intention.