The Social Media Worthiness TRAP: How Many Followers Until You feel Worthy?

The-Social-Media-Worthiness-TRAP_-How-Many-Followers-Until-You-feel-Worthy

Social media is kind of like a dirty high. We think that once we get a certain number of followers, then we can finally feel 100% whole and complete. Let's ask the question, how many followers does it take to like can finally feel worthy? When we look on social media, it's quite easy to see that we believe the more followers we get, the more people that pay attention to our stuff, the more fulfilled and satisfied we may feel however many times, what that causes people to do whatever they can to get approval and validation and that has a dark negative side effect. In this blog, I'm going to show you exactly what that is, how many followers it really takes for you to feel worthy and how you can bypass it so that you don't experience that. I believe this could be one of the most powerful videos you watch on social media and it's something that can change your life.

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Today, I'm going to be sharing with you understanding the comparison trap on social media. Or now I'm not saying any of this to brag or anything, but just so you know, I know what I'm talking about. I've been on YouTube for about three years now. I have one of those play button things over there. I have a camera set up in my house. I have cameras set up on different parts of my house because I do a lot of filming and I've been doing this for awhile. First up, just know that I've been doing this. I'm caught talking from experience when I share the stories from my own life on this. Also, it's just something to understand that what I'm saying I think can save you a lot of time by social media journey.

Started back in 2017 I was making videos once a week on YouTube and I just didn't feel like I was really where I really wanted to be. I was working a nine to five job selling women's shoes and I decided in a moment that I wanted to be a full-time YouTuber and I wasn't going to sit with the old like the reality of going to a job I didn't like anymore. I said no matter what, every day for the next year, no, are pretty much going forward. I'm going to make a video a date until I'm a full-time YouTuber. I told myself that and what I did is I ended up going for it. I worked at a nine to five job. I'd get up in the morning, I'd go to it when I got off, I would film a video, schedule a video to go out the next day, edit everything, and then there it would go.

I was very busy doing that and over the course of a couple of months, my channel went from 3,500 subscribers. About a month into it, three weeks into it I had a video that went viral. That video got like 300,000 views within the first couple of weeks and that took my channel from about 3000 subscribers all the way up to over 20 something thousand subscribers. That started to gain momentum for me and that's when it started to happen to where I started to feel the validation of growing on social media or YouTube. What happened is a few months after that I started to grow, started to gain momentum and I learned that I could do a couple of different things, start coaching people so that I could go full time on YouTube. That's exactly, I began to do in August of 2017 after about five or six months of making daily videos, I was able to quit my job working at Barneys in New York in women's shoes and I went full time on YouTube.

I remember that in my mind I had it and I thought that once I hit 100,000 subscribers on YouTube, I would then finally feel worthy. It was just this idea in my head, it was my first ever goal on YouTube numbers-wise. I remember thinking that and then going to bed one night I was at about 90 something thousand subs. I went to Sedona about a month earlier and made a video about five things you must give up to raise your vibration instantly. That video ended up going viral as well. That took my channel up to about 96 or 97,000 subscribers and I went to bed one night and I woke up the next morning and I was at over a hundred thousand subscribers. I thought it was going to take a couple of weeks longer than it did, but I had that other video that raises your vibration video go viral.

When it did, it took me from three or 4,000 subscribers pretty much overnight. I woke up at 100,000 subs and I remember thinking to myself, yes, I finally hit it. That feeling lasted about until about the time I went to the gym that day. Literally, I was at the gym on the bike doing a warmup for a workout and like appreciating grateful that it hit 100,000. There was a goal I wanted to hit and it would finally happen. What happened after that was a little bit disappointing. I realized that even though I had gone from, you know, zero or 3000 subs to 100,000 subs, and even though I was doing what I love making videos, part of me still felt like it wasn't all, it was hyped up to be. Part of me still felt like there was something missing.

This feels just like it did at 90,000 or 80,000 or 70,000. There was no different in feeling from going from zero to 100,000 subscribers on YouTube. Shortly what I noticed after that is after hitting 100,000 on YouTube, I thought about it. At that moment, what the mind does is looked for a higher number. The mind then said, well, what about 200,000. It's not just like this one-time thing, 200,000 shows that you can really replicate this over and over again and think about that. Maybe then you'd have people coming up to you in public and stuff like that. That's where the ego goes with this. Let me tell you once again, that was what I just kept making videos. Let me also say this, I'm making videos because I love making videos and because I want to help people become more aware of who they are. If you haven't subscribed to the channel yet, you could see I have over a thousand videos showing people how to raise their vibration, how to more consciously create what you want in your life goals.

Many different things are the stuff that I talk about. I love talking about it. However, there is a dark side to social media to where then once you get tapped into it, it's almost like it's self-perpetual. You feel like you always have to keep up, you feel like you need to always have a video better than the day before. In my own life, I've noticed this as well because the more that I try to always get ahead and have a video that's like completely different than the other videos, a lot of times the more I end up resisting the natural process. You are in the more privileges and freedom that you have. You see people that are literally being really fake and nice to each other just so that they can get more likes on their profile or more likes on their rating. At a certain point, she's desperate to get more because she wants to move into this new place. The actress she wants to move into the new, this new nice apartment building. She's been really nice to people. If we try and our need for other people's approval, that causes resistance many times they will give it. But also, that approval can only come from within.

On this journey, what I've realized is no matter how many social media followers you have, your mind will always look for more. The mind wants more, the mind wants more validation, the mind wants more. People think that once I eventually get there, then I can feel happy. That's exactly what I've found. The trap is of this whole entire process. There's also a comparison trap. When I first started on YouTube, I was one of a couple of people making content on some of the topics that I talk about. There weren't that many. Of course, there are no really original ideas. However, I feel, and I've noticed that some people, they will just take the ideas that you put out and when that happens it can be very triggering to the ego. In a way, that was something that I had to deal with as well because there are people that would kind of see what my videos did well and then replicate them and be making the daily videos. It's kind of like being a guinea pig for people to kind of like figure out what works. Social media will bring up a whole bunch of stuff within you and then what I would do is I'd compare myself to those people that did that and in a way, feel like I had to always keep up and always stay one step ahead in order for me to always kind of remain in the level that I'm on social media, on YouTube, on Instagram, whatever it is.

However, the thing that I've realized is that the feeling of worthiness and validation, it really only comes from within and once I realize this, once I let it go, once I catch myself and it's a process, I continue to catch myself trying to go for some type of number and realizing why am I really doing what I'm doing? I'm doing it because this is who I am. This is what I love doing because I want to help people because of the connection that I'm able to make with other people. That's why I share a lot of my journey. Even though it sounds vulnerable at times, sharing some things that maybe you guys haven't seen behind the surface. But what happens is the more you are able to tap into your own sense of worthiness and own sense of validation and really being yourself to the videos I have that do the best are normally the videos that I'm just being myself. I had to learn that the hard way because it becomes very easy to chase views, especially when you start comparing yourself to other people, other people that may be kind of in a way to, you know, using similar ideas that you use.

It's like you always have to feel like you get a step ahead and there's this comparison trap to where it just keeps perpetuating itself. Then I found myself even recently, I'm like, Oh, I need to take things to the next level. And, knowing that it's not a technique, it's not a certain keyword or a topic for me to take things to the next level, I just have to be myself more. As cheesy as that sounds, the more I myself, the better. I feel and then the better I feel, the better content I make. That's what I've realized through this process. When it comes to worthiness though, understand this, the more rules we have as to what it takes for us to be worthy, the least likely we are to say it. We have us right here with the neck and what happens is we have us and then we give ourselves these rules. These rules say I will feel worthy, and these rules that we have that we say after that all have to be check marked in order to happen must happen in order for us to actually feel that worthiness on the inside. the irony is that worthiness already exists. All we have to do is give ourselves permission now to feel worthy. That's the thing, these rules that we have on outside, I will feel worthy when I have 1 million followers when I have a certain amount of money in the bank when I have everyone like me when all of these things happen, then I will feel worthy.

But here's the thing, many times, we get caught up in our own sense of worthiness. these rules don't even make sense. For example, I have a goal of reaching a lot of people and helping them transform their lives through the videos I make. That's one goal. I have another goal of it. It's subconsciously of everyone liking me. Well, what are the chances that everyone's going to approve of me and give me validation if I'm also having a goal of reaching a lot of people? Thing is the more people you reach, the more likely there's going to be people that don't approve of you, that don't like you. I had to become aware of this in my own life and I had to change the way that I internally gave myself permission to feel love and worthiness and think of this as well. We normally have a belief system that says, once I get a certain number of social media followers, then I'll feel worthy. Once I have a certain amount of money, then I'll feel worthy. Meaning I have a certain number of social media followers, then I'll feel valuable.

Once I have a certain amount of money, then I'll know that I have value in the world when instead, if we were to change around the way that we saw this idea of worthiness and knew that I have worth and value for simply being me because I'm unique, I have something unique to share and when we have that frame, we didn't feel valuable now and we're more creative to come up with cool ideas. Creativity wise, we're more likely to show up authenticity just in the world expressing ourselves in a cool way. The key to this whole entire blog is knowing that the more rules we have about worthiness, which means how much value do we feel, the number of rules that we have, the more rules we have, the harder it is to fill for us to feel worthy. If we realize that worthy is an inside job, we can feel worthy by noticing and appreciating the value we have for being us. The more we will eventually feel that approval and satisfaction.

We can only give it from within. Even think about it when we say, when these things happen, then I will feel happy when this thing on the outside happens a by me having a lot of followers and having a lot of money and everyone liking me happens, then I'll feel happy. All we're doing is we're waiting and prolonging the happiness that already exists in our own mind. If I were to tell you, Hey, you didn't know this, but when you went to bed last night, you have a social media post that went viral. You have 2 million followers and you have all these people that liked you and all this crazy stuff and then all of a sudden you feel this rush of adrenaline and you're in a rush of love and all of this satisfaction, but I'll tell you what, that would go away very fast, but this is the thing.

Those emotions already exist inside of you. It's just that you've then hit a rule inside of you that says, once I have this, then I'll feel happy. Realize that all of this exists within worthiness is an inside job. No amount of social media followers will you hit and then finally feel worthy unless you feel worthy for being you worthy already. Even now I'm at, I don't know what I was 800 something thousand on YouTube and the mind is like, what about a million? I know this deep down that once I hit it, once it hits a million subscribers, guess what? It's going to feel the exact same as it does now. But it does the ego love to go for it? That's the way it works. The key here is all awareness and becoming aware of that.

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My name is Aaron Doughty and I help people expand their consciousness. My areas of interest for this blog include motivation, meditation, neuroscience and enlightenment. The purpose of aarondoughty.com is to inspire change to those who want to experience more in life. I will openly and passionately share the tools, resources and processes that have made a difference in the quality of my life to help you do the same in yours. I’ve always believed that finding ways to add value to other peoples lives is the fastest route to both happiness and fulfillment and this is my genuine intention.